>>50170549I see you've made the retroactive change of making all the norse characters into actual asian, or I guess (given the fact that google translate works on them), actual japanese. Honestly only real 'complaint' is that the switch over from 'intended to not make sense' into 'actual japanese' kind of makes her breaking into japanese in the middle of a sentence kind of awkward, though maybe it's just me.
Overall the chapter was compelling but I feel like it needed more to happen if you wanted it to have impact; like the 'hidden wall' scene could have been milked for more mystery or the ride back could have explored why Ayame was feeling like that more. Anyway, I hope you can write more, your prose is actually good enough that I would read more chapters if you made them.
