>>56469988>I felt like I was getting unpleasant whiplash from this chapter. Damn, I was worried about it'd read like that. I was hoping that rapid scene changes wouldn't feel to cluttered but it seems not. Luckily though, it was going to be for that chapter only.
When I think back on it, what I should've done is put them in pairs instead to keep it from feeling to rapidly shifting.
>I think your characterizations are also starting to get at odds with themselves.That's interesting that that came across that way because I wasn't going for that. I can sorta see why though, given that I made them in the start to be very stoic. Good to know though, I'll try to pull back the emotion a bit to keep it more balanced.
Thank you for the critique as always.
>>56462679What
>>56467102 said
but in the story she's an imprisoned goddess and the main antagonist. Definitely don't start reading at this point, we're in the last 15-10% of the book before the climax. It'll be way to confusing to jump in right now with no context.