>>76451835First of all, congratulations! finishing a fic that's been haunting you its always a treat.
I quite liked the setting, the idea and the characterization with HSKW while the smut was really good, specially the aftermath that had a nice comedy/romance/lust trifecta constantly spinning. Overall, its a good fic and i quite liked some of its parts.
HOWEVER! im quite ticked off at some of the aspects and i feel like i have to yap about them or ill go crazy.
>The moral codei feel like this is the worst aspect of the fic. It rears it head once or twice, promising to cause friction... and then Anon folds like a house of cards in just one night and after one interaction. If there were more dialogues and tidbits of Anon slowly getting reeled in, or this being a thing that happens over the course of multiple parties where she just leaves him hanging then it would hit where he goes "damn i gotta bust a nut in her"
Also this is a CINEMASINS NO FUN ALLOWED thing but its weird that he drinks so much and prides in being a moral bastion.
>HSKW and the friend group/MatsuriFor the "acquaintances you cant fully stand" she sure is friendly and full of banter with you. It feels like you two are friends and lessens the impact of the idea that there is this weird mating dance going around in between two people that dont fully see eye to eye.
The friend group is fine, i would have suggested giving them a more active role or bringing them up less because they feel important but everyone that isnt takeshi or Matsuri just doesnt do anything.
Which leads to Matsuri. She's just a bump in the road, not putting any effort in stopping you and then just antagonizing you with the explanation being a throwaway line. The ending just comes out of nowhere too, and it feels awfully mean to this side character. I get its the dangers of menheras...but it doesnt feel earned or even in character for someone throwing a fit because her feelings went unanswered.
Again, i liked it, but those elements just tick me off in the wrong way. Apologies for behaving like a woman
