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I want to hug Zenya. I want to be able to tell her words akin to Goodnight I Love You Bye. Love in the parasocial sense of course.
It is a simple sweet want that at times has a stinging aftertaste. Moments where I become acutely aware of what I Iack. I don't know enough words to describe my appreciation. My skill yet still too unrefined to demonstrate the lengths of my devotion. Resources insufficient and time ever fleeting. However, I wake up grateful now, to have another chance to put in the effort to make some progress against this stagnation. A reason to still try. For this I love my Oshi.
She gives me a push without knowing, I want to return it, this feeling. There's a desire in me to cheer, to see them try, to wish them, Goodnight...
