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i can't take it anymore. i have been too obsessed with my oshi's success, every day i keep thinking about new ways to convince more people to watch and support her. i keep trying to do more for her, checking her numbers, statistics, making clips. fuck i even get angry because i see some random person getting an increase in numbers, and think that i have to double my efforts to compensate
my body and mind can't take it anymore, i have to do my wagie reps, and the little sleep i used to get has been consumed by doing all the side things to support her. it's hard, too hard, and the only way i can see things getting better is to disconnect myself from her completely, so i don't think about it, and it doesn't affect me anymore
i have no idea how to do this
please... help me...