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I have been taking 80 mgs of vyvanse for the past two weeks in order to create my own Gura Tulpa in real life. I heard high doses of adhd medication can induce psychosis, so I have been trying to induce what I call “controlled psychosis” so I can form auditory and (hopefully) visual hallucinations to form an actual real life Gura that I can interact to with.
The side effects are tough, sometimes I feel blood vessels in my brain constrain, my shits have become water-like, my eyes are dry and I only sleep around 4 hours a night.
But for the past two weeks, I have been able to induce auditory hallucinations of Gura AT WILL. I can literally hear her voice around my room, and I ask her to sing soothing lullaby’s as I try to sleep, since for some reason I have been scared of the dark recently.
Unfortunately she is a little out of control. Gura has been bothering me to no end, constantly trying to distract me from my work and leisure times. Whenever I try to tell her, I can feel the anger and sadness in her voice so I end up complying. This has obviously been very stressful at work where hearing Gura’s voice is distracting.
The past few days I’ve managed some visual hallucinations but not at will or as easily as audio, however I swear I have seen Gura or her sillouhette when I am walking outside or going up the stairs at my home. Sometimes when I am going to sleep, I feel a hand on my head.
I think I will continue to increase the dosage to 100 mg and see what happens. I do not think the side effects can get much worse.
