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Reminder that my depression hasn't gone away. Fortunately it hasn't worsened although I'm not sure that that is possible...
I spent the last weeks in my room, not going outside and most of the tine not even leaving my bed. Even though I let my groceries be delivered I don't eat a lot so I have continuously lost weight.
One positive thing though. I quit being suicidal. My kids and wife would think I'm pathetic if I see them in heaven and told them that I killed myself, right?
I'm also considering visiting a shrink ut am I even allowed to? Allowed to lose the heart wrenching guilt that plagues me every moment? I mean, I'm responsible for what happened. if I lose the guilt doesn't that mean that I reject all responsibility? Maybe I won't visit one after all...
A friend, one of the few still talking to me, suggested a distraction, a big one. Games. Maybe MMOs? So I bought Black Desert. Lets see if it will distract me at least a bit.
