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After contemplation, I've realized that yesterday's Mario Kart stream was us witnessing picrel copypasta in real time.
Just think about it:
>Bijou opens with her usual bratty act, telling everyone she's at least decent at MK
>Proceeds to drive at a baffling level of shit for 1.5 streams
>Both chat and here assume she's either doing a bit, or was just joking like Fuwawa calling herself god tier at Apex
From our end, we don't see anything wrong, but on Bijou's end, she's the only one who can remember her own actual expectations for herself.
Actual confusion settling in as she realizes she really can't consistently do basic things like stay on the road or hit item boxes.
The worst of her fears flooding into her mind as she desperately struggles to understand how she could've forgotten how bad she actually was in reality.
Almost certainly she was expecting to get bullied and targeted into last place and have to do an instant loss or punishment game bit, but literally stuck dead last without anyone else's interference must've been baffling for her. Was the CPU actually so bad that she could beat them like this? Were her friends, even her own parents, going easy on her?
Imagine the internal damage it must have inflicted on the gamer pride beating with her tiny chest.
We all thought it was basically planned when she went "Why am I so bad now?" and eventually ditched the brat act for "Yeah, I literally can't even play, I've got a long way to grind".
But looking back in retrospect, those were probably at least partially honest thoughts leaking out covered as a gag.
"F-first stream was just a warmup!" and "Y-you pebbles are all just godlike, right?" early on seemed like just intentional silliness, but may well have been her trying to fluff or psych herself up back into shape and compose herself at the same time.
Every time she made a joke about tilt controls, then paused and sighed and admitted she was on controller, she must've been internally acknowledging the harsh reality, that despite thinking she was at least at basic competence before, she was actually as nonfunctional as someone on motion control debuff. Perhaps the pause was even her considering claiming she -was- using tilt controls, to save face with pebbles, but her gamer pride wouldn't allow it.
4-5+ hours of zatsuing through this on last MK stream and this one, where she must have been composing herself, telling herself that despite how uncalibrated her expectations were, she was just a big fish in a small pond, and to keep working hard, while keeping up a strong front and keeping all of us entertained. What a trooper!
no lie it was legit cute as hell that she's so dedicated to the "just git gud" grindset that she defaulted to "I must be total ass and need to relearn everything" the whole time instead of immediately making excuses and looking for the actual out she had
