>>44059736>>44059842>>44060144I don't understand how Zaimons and Yaminions are still alive, I miss her so much, each time she takes a rest my day starts out great thinking about how she's getting some well deserved time off while probably still working hard, and then it peters out as I realize she's gone. I've rewatched my favorite vods 7-9 times at this point. I almost started crying because a dude was playing guitar in a similar theme to her ending animation at the park.
Sometimes when I curl up with a weighted blanket I pretend it's Selen's body pressed against me, I put on a glove my sister modified with slightly hardened pointy ends that I keep warmed by the radiator and stroke my own cheek while dreaming that it's her hand instead. I've been saving up money to buy my little brother a nice camera but I wonder if he'll notice if I get a sliiiightly worse model while spending some money on a body pillow instead. But that won't work though. I can only imagine myself holding Selen's arm maybe for comfort, a piece of her for stability as she holds me tender but firmly. Her breath on my nape as our breathing synchronizes and the beat of her heart guides me to sleep. It's not fair, I wish I was strong like yaminions, I don't understand how my sister does it, she just gets a bit grumpy after almost a month at this point but I just can't. Come back soon Selen please, I need to hear your laughter live so badly. I want to listen to you talk about inane little things, before suddenly breaking out in screams of terror or shouts of excitement. You're so vibrant Selen, the life and emotion you display lights up and fills me. Please please please, rest well and come back soon. I'm just a loser who posts here because there's no way in hell I can let my siblings or friends or coworkers or therapist or you know you mean so much to me. I miss you.