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Darkness. Deep darkness without even a trace of light. How much time has passed since I was cast into this darkness...?
An eternity...but it also seems like an instant. All my senses are numbed and I can't feel a thing. What of my body? It’s like it's floating. In mid-air.
Have I retained my sanity? Did I go insane long ago? In all this emptiness... only one thing is vivid. Only her. Like lightning on a dark night, she rises up within me, blazing.
And again and again like a tidal wave, an infinite number of feelings surge upon me. Malice, friendship, jealousy, futility, regret, tenderness, sorrow, pain, hunger...
So many recurring, yearning feelings. That giant swirl of violent emotions in which none are definite but all are implied. That alone is the bond which keeps my consciousness from vanishing amidst the numbness.
I know that I'm different from other people. Those I’ve met can by no means disregard me. They always view me with either a look of good will or animosity.
I know that the good will forms into trust or fellowship and the animosity into awe or possibly dread. Thereby I have grasped... the hearts of so many in these hands.
But why is it when it comes to her, I always lose my composure? She was the reason I've been thrown into the darkness, and now she's the sole sustenance keeping me alive.
Out of so many thousands of comrades and tens of thousands of enemies, why just her... ?
How long ago did someone I was supposed to have in hand... instead gain such a strong hold on me?
That endless play begun so long ago on the debut stream of the YouTubes. That pilgrimage to claim what to me was the most sacred piece of junk.
But now, as she shines so glaring within me... the junk grows dull. ENNA… !!
