>>61241873Hey thanks for reading! It was the first fight scene that would be considered close to sword fighting, so while it might have been a little turn-based for a while, I'm glad it was still a little dynamic. The POV shift during that scene is honestly something I could have made a little better. While I had updated chapters 1-3 to not have my starting out prose stink to them, I didn't really change out how the scenes play. I agree that the shift was probably strange, but I really wanted to get Watame's internal thoughts across. For your second critique, I don't remember if I did anything like describe how the light from the spell became brighter or larger, but just the fact that the output was clearly more powerful than what he initially saw is what gave Mr Shiranui that assumption. Since from what he saw, Noel was able to bat away that spell with, and the next day Anon was capable of some actual destructive power. The sequence of spells also let him make that educated guess. The spell book is kinda a neat little piece of the unknown that characters can only make guesses to, which I really like as a narrative element. I'm glad you liked the chapter and thanks so much again for the review. There will likely come a time where I give my earlier chapters another pass through as my skills improve, so this is all great to have. Also it is easily the shortest main chapter in the entire series, so you're right about that
besides the long awaited Watame breeding much later on. I think initially I thought the contents of the outline would have fit into one chapter but that ended up needing to be split into a 2 and 3. My writing process back then consisted of making an entire arc outline and seeing where things ended up. Now I tend to outline each chapter as I come to it while having notes for an overall arc's scenes that will be covered.
