>>17047193Pacing is too slow. Eliminate some of the unnesessary pauses and it'll sound better.
>>17047335Sounds better, good use of music and sound effects too. "A-paw-th-carry"
The text for both is well adapted. I've thought about doing something similar with R&J's Act III scene 2 and 3 but combining them is hard without actually seeing it on the stage. The Queen Mab monolouge is another option.