>>55806301This was an an enjoyable read. I'll echo what another anon said about the first person narration feeling a little clunky here and there. Some of anon's thoughts just kinda trail off awkwardly without the need for a sudden introspection or internal monologue. Once the characters got rolling though, your dialogue really shines. Nene, Lamy, and Polka's contributions were great. I think you should have built a little more off the banter in the end instead of that bit about the sunset though, that would have lead to a stronger punchline or since this is a comedy, do a bit about how maybe anon is in the wrong line of work, or even about how he should switch to hag hunting instead.
