>>43001248It's hard to explain, but have you ever had a legit mental breakdown? I had one a few years ago. One day I just wasn't able to distract myself from my own crushing loneliness and wasted potential and nearly went insane. I kept thinking that if people like her existed, and I kept living my life the way I was, I would die without ever getting to meet them. It shattered my psyche in such a way that I wasn't really the same person when I finally came to myself again. She gave me a reason to live, instead of just exist. I don't delude myself that I'll ever be friends with her or anything. I just want to be the kind of person who could, if we ever were to meet as equals.