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>I thought maybe the "honeymoon period" ended
Yeah it did and it's not coming back. Don't plan your life around transient emotions or delude yourself to thinking that things stay forever. You gotta capture the moment.
>but my love for them is the same if not more than ever before, so why do I not have the strength to do things...
you have personal motivation issue or don't love them enough (can be sides of the same coin)
>I felt really guilty today because I didn't support the girls who work/ed incredibly hard
"I pirated the fes and feel guilty" - pay up or come to terms with being a leech. I think it's okay to rely on communities every once in a while if you also contribute to them.
>[multiple plans failing]
like earlier, emotional planning issue
>it's starting to feel like a bandaid "Well at least I'm giving financial support"
self-esteem issue, trying to act like someone you aren't, clique peer pressure, social media rat race. Take a break, you'll feel better. Then think about what you actually want to do and do that.