>>29979188>>29994924>>29994963Thank you for the feedback!
Sorry for asking you to go through my writing given how long-winded it often ends up being, especially in light of the formatting and grammatical issues I have
that's mostly my ESL leaking, as a lot of those errors aren't a thing in my native language. I hope it isn't too big a burden. I did try my best to proofread my writing before committing, but I guess these things have a habit of slipping past spellcheckers.
It's nice to know that I at least have enough self-awareness to see my weakness, and your pointers and examples on how to mitigate the issue will be immensely helpful! You're also right in your observations, both in my habit of having things happen mostly for moving the plot from point A to point B (I think I even mentioned that when I talked about how I write my story back then), and that the more... colourful moments are often when I'm indulging in what's happening in the story myself (which is why those tend to be /meat/-oriented moments, I suppose). I'll keep that in mind as best as I can.
I'll probably go through my writing to correct some of the more obvious mistakes when I can, which will hopefully make the experience less gruelling for you and other potential readers. I might not be able to rewrite the more structural issues concerning characterisation and the occasional plot holes, but I'll remember to keep those in mind when I write in the future.
Once again, thank you for your feedback and suggestions. You're more articulate than I am, so don't worry too much about the length. If all else fails (especially given how the spam detection on this board is performing recently), you can always use rentry for posting.
