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i know we're moving past the depression discussion but lemme get my piece in
I'm not too worried about immediate graduation in the future for my oshi for the most part. and he himself has addressed that whenever he talks about his future plans he means very far off in the future, and he still has so many plans in this life now, not to mention he'll definitely dogwhistle like an alarm siren to let us know where he reincarnates, and fully wants to be parasocial beyond that. and yet im greedy, i know him as his current face and current name and his current set of friends, and sometimes i get scared that the more ambitious dreams he has the more he'll want to move on. im afraid of him changing and realizing he doesnt need or even want us anymore, and it leaves me feeling so frantic and angry and sad.
i also concernfag about other livers i like. i dont even watch sonny (timezone issues) and i personally dont think wife will leave unless a meteor crashes on him or something but i still feel that existential dread.
i think what really got to me was Axia's graduation. just the idea of one day your oshi goes on break, then boom, theyre fucking gone. no goodbye stream, not even a final message, nothing.
yugo even worse; i understand the fans who keep crying over "noctyx is 5!" under noct4 fanarts because although its annoying i get it. it hasnt even been a fucking month. hes been wiped clean from everything on niji officially. i get the urge to copy and paste him onto every noct4 art i see, so he can live on in fan memory. i dont say a word about it except for /here/ but it hurts.
i wouldnt wish that on anybodys oshi, not even the ones i dislike.
