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I want a loving relationship with Suisei. She’s the only Holomember I view as an actual woman. She feels the most really really real. I want to love her. I want to give her huggles and kissies. I want to cuddle with her in bed and have her tie me up for some light bdsm play. I want to feel her fingerless gloves around my pp as the glove part and the finger skin alternate their touch while she rubs me around. I want to give her smooches to comfort her when she gets called flat by those losers in the chat. I want to give her headpats while I tell Suichan kyou mo kawaii and smile when she smiles. I want to fill her to the brim with my applejuice and have her wonderful suicopathic children. I want to see her in a wedding dress because she must the most beautiful woman in one. I want to carry her over the threshold of my house that my mom owns while she drinks a box of ringo juice. Fuck all those other girls. Suichan is the one for me. Why do I have to live in a world where I can’t be with Suisei? Is this some kind of cruel joke? That I’ll never be able to feel her warm embrace and live the rest of my days with her. She probably doesn’t even know I exist. This is hell. Maybe I should take a box of sleeping pills while listening to her singing streams, because Hololive’s no.1 singer has the power to enter my dreams if I fall asleep to her. Then I could finally be with her. Oh how magical are those dreams. Dreams that I never want to awaken from. Yet I always wake up too soon. Maybe one day I can save up the money for a red superchat so that I can tell her how much she means to me. Then spend another month saving up for another red superchat to tell her again. If I send enough superchats maybe she will remember my name and I will be able to eventually work up to sending bigger and bigger red superchats until I hit the maximum amount of money that I can send in a single superchat— the superchat that I will use to ask her to marry me. But until then, I sleep, I dream, I love.
