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Day 5 (or 6?) of realizing that I love Riifu.
It has been quite the journey. For a week before I realized my love, I was so confused. I had never been in love before, I couldn't sleep, I was breaking out in a cold sweat, I was obsessed with her. But I had never been in love before, how could I know this was love? I thought sickness had taken me.
Luckily, I have close people that knew these feelings, I finally accepted my love, and for the last 3-4 days I've been on cloud nine. I can finally see how love can be so inspiring, never before have I been so determined, creating art, spreading joy, all for her and me. Truly, to be obsessed or being in a healthy mindset is a thin line.
Yesterday and today hit me like a brick. My love is starting to fade. These days have been some of the most self-realizing days of my life, and they're disappearing. I don't know, maybe I am getting over it, maybe I am coping. I just want her to be happy, and I'm not sure either one of us knows how to do that. Really, I don't care about the drama, she can do what she wants, but she cares too much, just like I care for her. It hurts inside, but not as much as it did some days ago. Life moves on, and maybe I need to follow.
