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Millie is important. I'm not going to say she's more important than people I know, or that she's more important than many people I know. But she's a huge element in my life. And she's loved by someone else. Her and Enna. And yet I can't look at her without crying. Can you see? It's killing me. There's something that I want, but there's nothing that I can attain. Just an all-encompassing loneliness. I just want to watch my chuubas with her, listen to her sing. It's getting to me. I can't talk to anyone about this. I'm too scared. The more I ignore it, the more I'm killing myself. Is that it? Am I just waiting for death to do me a favor and bring me the restlessness? Am I fucking kidding myself? Or maybe I'm just a weakling? Should I die? Are you going to blame me, Tio Millie? This isn't fair. I want someone to give me the things I want in a woman.
