I won’t lie guys I’m having a bad night. I’ve been looking for this edit here:
https://youtu.be/INNkO4WnBT8?si=9i5gg7X-Kea5L5TTAnyways, I need to vent.
>had a gf>mentally scarred me>lots of manipulation, gaslighting, the whole nine yards>tries to fuck with me a month after breaking up>tells me her new bf hits her>she moved on so fast>still love her so I have a mental breakdown>she’s LDR so I can’t just see her, wasn’t going too because we weren’t together anymore>cut contact>struggle to keep her off my mind for a few years>wish things were different and she wasn’t horrible to me >stressed>begin to hate women >covid>start watching HoloEn >attended their debuts>really like Ame>mental image of women start to heal because of Ame>realize that women can be just as friendly as Ame>realize women can be just as fun because of Ame>2 year later>restrictions relax>start going out>meet some women>go on a few dates, can’t find a gf though>a year later, November to be exact>get a random text >”heeeeeyyy” >it’s my ex>indulge her for a bit, but I’m on my toes>we talk for a a few days>tells me that she isn’t satisfied with men around her>realized I gave her genuine love>wants me back>intrigued but still ultimately on my toes>realize she’s changed, but not in a way that is satisfying>still see some red flags>cut her off, don’t feel like shit>all this time I haven’t watched Vtubers for a year>April>decide to check in on HoloEn >see that Ame has streamed less and less>catch up on some vods >she’s still as entertaining as ever>become sad>miss Ame. I’m not a gosling by any means. And I don’t mean to be parasocially obsessed, but Ame really helped me out in my darkest hour, and she really changed my worldview on women to the point I began to respect women in general again. I know she’s going to be back, but goddamn I really want to see her live again.