>>58184827I'm glad! I was worried I was laying on the coping of Botan's death a little too hard.
>I would suggest formatting the opening segment a little different or throwing a clear segment breaker when it ends to showcase that it's kinda a scene not in the present.I knew I should've made the whole thing in italics. That's usually what I do when expressing past events. I'm not entirely sure why I displayed actions in normal text and quotes in italics.
> I think you should go into the sensations and imagery of the blood a little more in your scenes.I will make sure to do it whenever it happens next. I have actually been neglecting that a little.
>but I suppose I'm just left wondering why the resolution for it is such an uphill battle for himEveryone's emotions are running high so I wanted to make it so that Anon didn't just forgive everything directly after losing Botan and the fight at the peak of the mountain. He's worn out, tired and deeply depressed. The Ayame-Anon plot isn't over just yet though.
Thank you for the critique and for reading. I'm glad this one was far more streamlined than last chapter. I know the last one was a bit hit and miss at parts.