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Given the anons who've had problems with takeout food not arriving from the outside, who had their delivery drivers waylaid by Lamys on the lower floors, or who are of the (correct) mind that the outside world does not exist at all, I would like to remind everyone that there's a KFP branch in operation for every 50 floors! We deliver straight to your apartment and also do pickups, or if you want a comfy sit-down meal you can come to any of our branches for the world-class service we're so well-known for. Come to KFP and enjoy our all-day breakfast menu, our award-winning fried chicken sandwiches, our succulent chicken tendies, or maybe indulge your sweet tooth with one of our famous hot pies (available in chocolate, blueberry, strawberry, vanilla custard, and liquid sin)! Why waste money ordering from some other place when your food might never show up? Why brave the tower's layout and risk getting hurt trying to go outside (fake) for a meal? Maybe you wouldn't get hurt if you stopped trying out other restaurants like A FUCKING WHORE. Just come to KFP and enjoy our delicious food and incredible prices! Why would you ever eat anywhere else? You ever see somebody get abducted by a mutant inside a KFP? No! You ever see that happening to IDIOTS trying to go outside? Every day! Come on in to KFP! Don't you like chicken? Who doesn't like chicken? Not you, that's who. You like chicken. Buy the chicken. I'm trying to help you here, stop being such a little bitch and do as I say!
KFP! Buy only from me!
