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>be a well off individual heading to college on my own
>get into argument with friends, realize that my life is not going to automatically get better just by having a college degree
>fall into deep depression, lay in bed all day, skip classes
>discover hololive, slowly falls into the rabbit hole and realizes touch starvation
>become even more depressed upon realizing i'm becoming one of those neckbeards that don't really accomplish anything
>depression gets so bad, nearly begin drafting plans, need to take leave
>my leave costs me a year and a half
>return to college, start attending class, feel a lot better for a bit, still watch vtubers and enjoy it a lot
>eventually life begin to crumble again
>still watch vtubers as my life just implodes around me
>i realize I'm scared shitless of telling people that i need more time to solve my shit
>fail all my classes and get put on probation
>still keep skipping class, still have so many missed assignments
>will probably fail a second time, thus probably getting dismissed
>vtubing does absolutely nothing, honestly becomes even more depressed seeing everyone else in vtubing scene either be extremely happy or extremely bitchy about shit that ultimately does not matter
>tempted to start drafting plans again
why aren't vtubers helping me at all. I know that my actions are bad but I can't get myself to feel joy, even if for a little bit. should I just kill myself or is there a way out
