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When I was growing up, I was treated like I was just a burden on everyone around me. Between that, never really finding a clique or anything, and being terminally online I have no real life friends and absolutely no experience with women. I'd like to evolve to at least be a typical weird guy instead of a complete ghost, but I've been a total reject for my whole life and growing beyond that feels impossible. I know that is a defeatist attitude and I should work on that, but it's just really difficult when basically everything in my life has gone poorly for as long as it has.