>>37509530>>37514618Butt stuff, huh? I think that may be beyond my capabilities, but I could give it a try someday. Thanks for reading.
>>37547295Releasing the chapters as I finished them may have made for better presentation and built some more excitement, but I absolutely would have ended up regretting writing something in chapter one as I'm releasing chapter three or something. Without fail, I always end up wanting to retcon shit and change the beginning of my stories (which I did multiple times throughout this production), so I've found unless I'm writing something really long, I'll release it one go. And yeah, this one is pretty long, but it was intended to be shorter. Maybe I should have finished the entire thing then slowly released chapters.
>I don’t know if this is intentional but you have a habit of long run-on sentences while Anon’s alone.Hrm, maybe when I'm writing inner thoughts and observations I tend to make the sentences longer than I would writing actions or dialogue. Thanks for pointing that out.
>The only real nitpick I have is that you sometimes have weird tense troubles alongside a couple awkward sentences.I can probably guess where they are. Still a ways to go as a writer. It's comforting to know that some of my other prose is good though, so thank you.
>Other than that, the writing is solid outside of Ayame scenes they feel ‘tell’ rather than ‘show’ with how she narrates it.Yeeeaahh... I'm beginning to dwell on that a little. It's only AFTER I publish and post the document that I begin thinking of many different ways I could have shown her problems and circumstances rather than told. Shit sucks. I'll do what I can to avoid info dumps in the future.
>PurpleThat's the thing... isn't it in-between? Her OG 3D is without a doubt purple, but some of her newer 2Ds look more like a dark pink. That or my idea of pink is fucked.