>>2717660610 hours later but I spent 1 of those typing this out not realising net was down and I'm going to post it.Kayfabe means that you're supposed to believe that the stories, events, fights and history you're told are all things that really, actually happened and have real consequences. It was lies, manipulation to get the audience invested in the show that was being put on. When it was alive it was used as a codeword and breaking it could get a wrestler fired or throw his career prospects into the trash. Kayfabe in wrestling has been dead for decades now. These days it's just a meme, another word for fiction. Vtubers like to pretend they use it this way but it's almost never the case.
They are not playing characters like in a movie where the audience is expected to know from the start it isn't real. When they say kayfabe it's nothing but gaslighting. "I was just pretending! It's your fault for believing it!" They're straight out lying and hoping people will buy it.
Lying about hardship for sympathy and relatability when your life has been nothing but easy. Lying about 'purity' so unicorns and goslings think they still have a chance when you're already taken. Lying about your beliefs and interests so an unrepresented audience will notice you when you view them as deluded morons and gross neckbeards. Lying about your mental health so the mentally ill will think they've found someone who understands when you just consider them a necessary burden for your goals. Lying about caring for and appreciating your audience so that they'll be invested when you're laughing at them in private. "Only the desperate and deranged would actually believe it!" doesn't work as an excuse when that's who you want as your audience.
That's what Pippa being kayfabe means. It means she hasn't been through what I've been through, gone through the same struggles, dealt with the same doubts and yet managed to overcome. It means there's no example I can look to to give me the strength to continue. It means the hope she gave me was false, that there's none for me. That I should just give up.
I'm going to continue believing she's real for as long as I can.
Because if it's all kayfabe then I should have just stuck with the plan and hung myself on March 19th.