>>65233649Anon, thank you so, so much for this. I'm going to need a bit of time to process this, but I think you have just written my favourite fic /wg/ has ever produced. I'm not sure where to start, but I'll be reading this again for sure. I know I'm baised since it's a story about my oshi but hey, who isn't?
First off is your characterization of Towa. It is immaculate. She's cute, she's kind, she's goofy, and
during their reunion you can tell she's gained a bit of confidence, just like the real Towa. The only problem I might have had with it is how quickly she gets angry and her behavior during the argument scene. She seemed to bristle a little too easily, though this might fall more under the argument itself feeling a bit inorganic rather than any characterization issues. Besides that, I loved her. There were so many lines that just tugged on my heart and made me want to scream "TOWAAAAAAAAAA" at the top of my fucking lungs. One of those was:
>A tug on your shirt distracts you. “...you can look, it's okay… don't ignore me…”That shit was killer. I really need to take notes because your Towa far exceeds my Towa that I'm currently writing.
I guess we should go to the story next. It's good, very good. The year they spent together was so sweet I nearly got toothache from all the damn sugar. It did occasionally feel like some conversations progressed too quickly and they got comfortable with each other in a kind of rushed way, especially towards the beginning, but this was a minor issue that was hardly noticable at all.
As I also mentioned before, the argument felt a bit forced, like everyone was getting angry for no reason. It was later explained that Towa was just bottling up her feelings but even then. I would have liked the reunion and the married life section to last a bit longer too, but I'll take what I can get. One major thing this story is missing however is a kiss. Just one kiss. Goddammit Anon, let me fucking kiss Towa! Overall it was quite the journey and I could feel my emotions running on all cylinders throughout the whole unfolding of the story. The dynamic you created was too damn cute and I really felt it when things fell to a low. Shit, who knows, I might give this another read when my mind is refreshed and give it a second review.
Your writing style/prose is great. There's a lot of words that I vaguely knew scattered throughout the story and I could definitely learn a thing or two about increasing my vocabulary from this fic. Your descriptions of scenery are especially nice and by god the way you were able to set the mood/tone of certain scenes using the surrounding environment was just... spectacular. I would like to point out however that the story could've used a quick once-over to check for missing full stops and commas, because there was a glaring number of sentences that never finished and pauses that just passed by.
There was more I wanted to say before I started writing this review, but I think I've forgotten most of it. All I can really say is bravo. I don't know how much of my Twap bias is speaking right now but this is seriously a next level story. Most of it's charm really does come down to the dynamic between the characters and the drama that comes with the story, so the 24k word length really paid off IMO. You mentioned that you never want to write something this long again but I really hope that doesn't turn out to be the case because as I've said before, I think this is my favourite fic in the entire archive now, and assuming you're also the writer of the Suisei cooking series (another one I really liked) the longer stories do suit your drama buildups. There's more I want to say but I think I've made this review long enough. I love Towa and I definitely love you for making this, Anon. Thank you for the meal.
