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Randon Neuring is a battered shell of an orc that works at a barely above entry-level position in an undisclosed e-commerce company. He used to be some kind of bandit, but a mounted knight stabbed him through the liver with a lance and ran him over with an armored warhorse. He spent six months in traction and his gang didn't have health insurance so now he's in more or less permanent medical debt. After rough days at work(three times a week) he plays video games that remind him of better times as an orkling. From a human frame of reference he's in his late 30s. He has a very unnatural hair color(red) that his company doesn't approve of, so he dyes his hair black and keeps it cut in a business acceptable style. The roots are probably showing through very slightly. He has a bit of stubble that his manager will probably yell at him over soon. His eye color is red-brown, and his skin-tone is some kind of green. He has pretty thick eyebrows, not liking the brow-less orc aesthetic. He thinks his ear shape is about right, with lower fangs much more pronounced. He wears a loosened necktie(with a pattern based on one of his three hobbies) and a long-sleeved collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He's tall and beefy, still over six feet tall when he's hunched over like orcs do. He wears cheap, featureless eyeglasses that he buys from Costco (his favourite store) every three years. Randon isn't his real name, he doesn't want his real name on the internet. He chose the name because it's a pun, Randonneuring is a style of semi- competitive bicycling. He enjoys cycling, fishing, and golfing in that order. Golfing tends to bring out his inner orc rage so it's his least favorite hobby. Despite suffering from clinical depression, he does get excited about his hobbies and other things that interest him and has a tendency to ramble on about those things. A “secret weeb”, is Randon Neuring.
GOOOOOOD EVENING /orc/!
What's for eating/did you last eat/planning to eat?
Wikipasta guy's first bake woooooo!
