>>46080108It's a mixed bag.
On the one hand you get excited to watch her live, but realize that you're 1 in a chat of dozens of other viewers competing for her attention.
On the other when she isn't streaming you just wait around doing nothing productive hoping she'll do a spur the moment stream which never happens.
You follow her on socials knowing full well you're gonna be ignored.
You donate in an attempt to garner her attention but it never does.
You begin to resent the ones she gives attention to.
You eventually just lurk watching her, slowly feeling numb more and more.
And one day you stop caring, stop watching and move onto the next one hoping she's the one.
But round and round you go when this wild ride ends no one knows.