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I think about all the attention Ruffians get both on stream and on twitter, and I can't help but feel jealousy. More than that, though, I feel a great demotivation. I've started so many projects for them, i.e. drawings and writings, but I end up trashing all of them. In the end it'll only get me a like or a "thank you." Despite trying something I'm not good at, it'll only ever put me on the same level as someone who did something as simple as tweeting "I love you." I know it's selfish and I should be doing it for their happiness, not mine, but I can't help it.