>>48960394I mentioned blogposting because I was thinking of recent dreams, what the heck.
The last couple of nights I had dreams involving my two childhood friends that I haven't seen in 8ish years now, I can't remember any details, but they were nice in tone. We were just having good times doing things that we used to do but in a vague dream way, whatever.
They we're my only real friends and it all ended one night after we were smoking weed together and friend 1 started having a manic episode that acted out like something out of the climax of a thriller. I can't describe how crazy it was, he was after friend 2 who I told to run out of the house and to ask for help from anywhere while I was trying to hold friend 1 back while quickly losing strength trying to keep him contained, I was bigger than him but he had some frenzy strength.
I eventually lost control of him and he ran outside chase after friend 2 who was frantically knocking on the door across the street, then friend 1 suddenly jumped into his own car and sped off down the street.
Friend 1 ran off into the woods and totaled his car and was found walking down the highway by his own dad, he was fine.
I hadn't talked to friend 1 and only a couple times several years ago to friend 2 since then.
I wish I was a better story teller, there was a lot of details that would have made it interesting, but it was already too long.
I wonder if that traumatic event only adds to my fear of intimacy.
TL;DR Old friends once okay, no longer okay. And it kinda hurts.