>>40167063It's okay to be happy right now comfydant, please, Wife loves you, he wants you to be joyful. Maybe start up a journal, at the end of each day, try to write something in it that you would want to show to him.
It's honestly what I've been doing. I know my place in the world, but I don't think being unhappy would make me a good member of the flock. So I do my best to not think of life without a shepherd, or my dread of knowing I got myself into a program I have no right being in. Well at least I try to anyways, I've been crying myself to sleep every night again over a bad breakup I thought I got over months ago. I broke down during the kind letters stream though, because listening to him say he loves us and wants to guide us only reminded me that I don't have that anymore. My journal is how I try to avoid it though, I conjure up fantasy scenarios of what I could do for a family that's all far smarter than I'll ever be and tell the imaginary Wife in my journal about my dreams that remind me why I haven't just dropped out yet.
As for his health problems, I just try to ignore them, going through the Millie fanart of "searching for batteries" hit way too close to home for a friend of mine. I just repeat a really stupid rhyme I came up with during that time, it's alright, it's okay, even if they're gone, I'll be too one day
