>>65233649I'm typically a long term lurker and only occasionally check by to see whether there's a good Towa story for once, since maybe one day, there'll be one, but I often long figured not.
However, I've legitimately been floored by what you've written. As another anon,
presumably another kenzoku, put it, I truly think you've hit the nail on the head on how to characterize Towa without it feeling like you've made a mockery of who she is and how she truly behaves. I'd honestly long given up hope on seeing anyone write
(here) something that truly gets "it" in regards to her, something left only to the real thing and for those who experience her to get it. I honestly could see myself recommending this as a way of explaining why kenzoku are in love with her, it's simply that accurate, even if some things are obviously a tad fictionalized from her.
I know typically people try to provide critiques to help their future writings, but honestly, I can't really find faults in the narrative except a possible argument
for the argument to be a bit "contrived", however I honestly believe it's also perfectly in line with Towa's character. There's some grammar/spelling issues at some point around the pool, where Anon randomly starts saying "yo" for like two phrases which just doesn't feel right, but that's nitpicking. If there's honestly something I'd have an issue with story wise, is that there's
a happy ending, I think it could've hit harder emotionally if either both of them move on platonically, or that they never reach that resolution between the two of them simply left with their regret. But it doesn't really take anything from it that there is one, it's more of a personal preference, I enjoy seeing Towa happy myself, it just feels a tad weaker than the rest of what you wrote since my expectations were sort of leading to that bittersweet direction from how the rest was written, perhaps if it was elaborated it would feel more fitting, but I might also just be projecting my desire for more Towa fluff.Regardless, once again, sincerely, thank you for writing this.
