>>6581125Adding on to this because it feels like if I don't my skin is going to fucking combust. Tl;dr? I don't just want to be abused by Matsuri, I want to fall from grace entirely.
I want to be fucking utterly ruined by Matsuri. I want Matsuri at her absolute fucking worst. The sweet, kind and caring cheerleader will be completely overshadowed by the lusting pervert. Every twitch or confused half-moan she forces out of my body will serve as affirmation that I want this, even as I'm quietly pleading with her to stop and that she's scaring me as she gets more and more aggressive. I want Matsuri to take every single 'first' from me she possibly can. I want to have the memory of her getting a hold of me fucking branded into my memory.
I want her to completely fucking ruin normal relationships for me. Not out of anything as silly as trauma or trust issues, no; everything any one else can offer me is simply nowhere near the fucking mindblowing passion Matsuri can offer me, DID offer me on that fateful night, years and years ago. I want to be completely marked by Matsuri to the point where no other human being can offer me the pleasure she did when she forced herself upon me as a boy. I will find the prison she is most assuredly in following her being caught after raping me senseless. I will have her dragged from her cell by the guards and brought to the visitation area. I want to see the look of fear in her eyes when she realizes exactly who I am when she sits across from me behind the plexiglass screen, the shaking, horrifying uncertainty as she reaches for the phone's receiver. She's obviously been through quite a lot since she's been incarcerated; people who abuse children always are, but the years have been kind to her regardless. I want to see her apprehensive face when she waits for me to berate her, to tell her how she's ruined my life, only to surprise her by telling her that I will be waiting for her when she's released, and that I need her just as badly as she needed me that night. I want to see the realization bloom across her face.
I will wait for her, day by day. And when she is free, I will bring her home and make her my bride.