>>63049080I'll start off by saying that masturbation is a fun thing to see written about. It's always nice to see how a woman wants to just satisfy herself.
I think you did a decent job of painting the setting of how it can feel to not get a good release due to living with someone else. The almost desperate intent of it while trying to save face was well delivered.
For the fic itself, some sentences read a little awkwardly like
Pure plastic, 16 cms, Girthy, with some fake balls and with a suction cup in the end that wasn't supposed to go inside of you. The last part of that I feel like is the wrong descriptor to take with it. Better to describe what it is best used for rather than what you AREN'T supposed to do with it.
Watching porn on her computer had some issues, mainly regarding her need and want to trash around as she pleasured herself, and her phone was lacking just enough resolution to annoy her. Her ipad, was a middleman solution.Portable and with a screen big enough to watch her raunchy videos. This one is a bit of a run-on. I also think you were going for "thrash" instead of "trash". The part about the phone can be its own sentence, since you are going through each option individually and listing off their negatives. I think there's opportunity to improve on this, since the concept is nice and you captured the flow of anticipation to desperation to final release, but it just needs a bit more substance to help it along. All in all, good on ya for taking a prompt and giving it life!
