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I can't take this anymore, I think I have to take a break from Kronii.
I've known for a while now that I developed real parasocial feelings for her, but I tried to ignore it and move on, telling myself that she was a good influence on me, giving me the motivation to better myself and doing my reps. And for a brief moment I think I was truly happy.
But then she liked Midknights tweet. And I'm miserable. I fucking hate myself for how that made me feel. It's just a fucking tweet and he's a faceless no one to her in the end, but I just can't get over it. Why is she always reading his SCs? Why does she sound so happy while doing it? Why is she skipping mine, at most just giving the obligatory "Oooh, thank you anon". I tried being a yesman and showering her with praise like Rice. I tried giving her topics and tangents about things she enjoys to go off on. I don't know where I try to go with all of this, I'm just sitting here, drinking again after quitting for a while and listening to the one time she laughed at a joke I made...
I LOVE HER I HATE HER I LOVE HER I HATE HER I LOVE HER