>>64975481alright, I'm leaving a review because you truly deserve it. I binged this thing in bed last night and fuck me, stories like this are the reason I'm still around this thread. Long story short, this is a masterpiece by the standards of /wg/, and I say this as someone who hates 2/4 tags it has. I actually felt something while reading - you know, this gut feeling of dread, hope and despair - and not a lot of works get that out of me these days.
Your story telling, the portrayal and development of your characters were all top-notch. You did an amazing job with Fubu and Anon as main characters that were so thoroughly flawed, but still so lovable that I couldn't keep myself from rooting for them.
Hana was more of a safe choice with the classic "bad mom" role, though it fit the circumstances nicely and was no detriment at all.
What I don't want to miss pointing out is your portrayal of Kenji. Especially if what I read is true and you ARE the author of "to be 17 again". I remember Mio's estranged husband came off as a bit too chlicheed in TB17A, so seeing how you made Kenji work here as this likable uncle with his own character and flaws - all while NOT making him the oblivious cuck he would have undoubtedly been in any NTR hentai is really refreshing. He's torn between his sister, his nephew and his wife and ultimately knows what's going on with no possibility to stop the bitter-sweet train wreck from occurring.
What stood out to me the most, however, is your impeccable portrayal of Anon's "therapy". As someone who's around trauma and abuse quite a bit in daily life, this made a few alarm bells ring for me. Maybe you're just a really convincing storyteller, but... uh... I hope you're okay. Although fucked up people make the best artists, or so they say..
The smut was good too, though I couldn't get too into it for the most part
except for ch. 9, since I'm not a shotafag by any means. That's not your issue, however, just a personal preference.
If I had to nitpick about something in the story, it would be some of the time skips. I get you chose them as a stylistic vessel, to portray the torn and tortured mind of Anon, and it worked for the most part - but some "trips to the past" overstayed their welcome. I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to skip forward, thinking "we've been further than this" without there being an obvious need to go back and fill supposed plot holes.
About
Miyuki I'm a bit torn as well. She's a nice addition as an innocent bystander caught up in the shit-show that is Anon's life, but I feel like she could've just as well been "faceless" like Anon's other GFs, or she should've had more plot, drama, heartbreak etc.
Be that as it may, this was an amazing read and to me, your progress as a writer is the most prominent when I look at the authors ITT. I absolutely loved TB17A
(and fuck you for not finishing it) but the improvements in your prose since then are quite glaring.
You also get bonus points from me
for making it a somewhat happy end. Now get back to finishing TB17A, pussy! 