>>55579767Well, kind of a lot to unpack here so my thoughts might not be perfectly put together, but I'll kind of just spew them out I guess.
The setting is cool, I've always enjoyed the common-place aliens Star Trek kind of thing. I think the en media res opening is super unnecessary, and just makes half of the fic in italics for no reason. An expanded focus on the drudgery of being on the space ship would also have helped get Anon's desire to leave and explore across better, and the whole pirate attack doesn't really seem to have much urgency to it at all because Anon and Jerry go from being separated from everyone when the attack starts to finding Miko completely fine and unharmed in literally one sentence. I feel like that more than anything as long as you expand on stuff like that this series as a whole will benefit from it. Kinda weird that in the far-flung space future that he has just a phone, too.