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Im a kissless 28y/o autistic virgin
im passable in normal conversation thanks to my parents and being in public school, but ive never been in a relationship and im too socially anxious and afraid of failure to even bother trying to ask people out. im also fat and loathe my appearance and dont see what someone would see in me, even though im fine with my personality and shit. i know i can fix the physical aspect, but i hate having to fail over and over and over again before i find something that works for me, which might also be the reason im only now trying to get of SSRIs after having taken them forever.
The only joy i get is from collecting guns, riding my motorcycle and gaming. and pathetic as it sounds, slice of life animes and VNs are the only things that make me feel normal like i was in an actaul relationship, till the illusion is broken when i look away from the screen. i suppose thats why i like the parasocial relationship with vtubers as well, even if theyre just entertainers at the end of the day.
