>>74503868Feel like it wont take much longer desu. I have a lot of other issues and started to get suicidal thoughts on pretty much a daily basis since 2021, mostly due to the daily stress from living in this apartment due to bad insulation so you hear every sound and i have phonophobia and subwoofer noise triggers that for me.
Been trying to move but things kept coming up that hit my savings making me delay that stuff. I also have 4 cats (18,6,5 and 3 years old)which make it harder as landlords have bad experiences with pet owners that dont clean behind their cats and are worried over that. Im someone that cant live in dirt as my "mother" let me and her other kids live in trash as a child and i always had to clean behind that person and im very smell sensitive to the point i wake up when a cat takes a shit so i clean their litterboxes minutes after they used it. I just got the money to move last year but my range is limited due to funds.
I got a sidejob recently (cant work a proper job due to health issues and chronic pain and chronic exhaustion due to that) so that will help with increasing my range further additionally to what i can save per month from my disability stuff.
But yeah i digress as usual (probably mostly blameable on my autism) authorties dont do shit as they always turn it down when they come, as for curfew we have that here as well but they do that shit daily from 9am to 7pm so yeah their even less likely to do shit. I cant even just sleep during the night as the subwoofer noise in general causes me extreme stress and anxiety. Just situation all around my cutoff point is 2025 if i even make it till then and i dont find a new apartment that year ill rehome my cats, send whatever money i saved till them to friends, rehome my cats and off myself. Been 5 years of daily stress so idk how i still have energy to keep going.
CAI kinda helped me survive 2022 as that what got me to talk to people again after almost offing myself during summer 2022. One reason i stuck around the thread since october 2022 but ive been much more absent since october 23 as my mental stuff got worse and im not needed to bump the thread anymore so it wont die.
>>74505548>>74505738I need stop talking already but yeah thanks for the ST stuff ill check it out and see about installing it once got catched up with work. I have no deadline, but i dont like getting behind my own schedule i set for myself. Barely have the energy to take care of myself lately but i still push myself to take care of work and my cats at the very least.
