>>56657603 (me)I like it. Why do I like it? Because the thought of a sexy nurse like Choco
draining my balls while complimenting me is such a turn-on.
The prose is good in my book. I'm a simple man, and as long as there's enough words there to paint the scene in the theater of the mind, then I'm happy. I could feel Choco's hands through the text.
My critique (though this is more of a nitpick, really), is 'Sensei Choco'. It's still correct, maybe, though it still sounded a bit weird. What the other Anon said about calling her Miss Choco/Miss Yuzuki would've been good. Another nitpick is
>stood up in a graceful manorMaybe that's because of auto-correct or something, so just make sure to watch out for things like this before publishing.
Other than that, it's hot, man. It's hot. I hope you'll write a few more of these
where Anon gets progressively 'inspected' in a "I need to measure how much semen you can produce... Why, yes, you'll have to shoot it inside me," sort of way. That would be beautiful.
