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I know she's on the way, and obviously I'm happy for everyone else, but there's a small part of me that feels apprehensive about it all because I worry FOMO might be eating Mori alive right now.
For over a year and a half, she's had it in her head that everyone was going to meet up in Japan. She's fantasized about it the whole time, and gushed on-stream about her plans and all of the incredible sights and activities she had in store for all of them, dreaming about hosting everyone. She would monitor and share updates about Japan loosening border restrictions in their discord server. She was already devastated when all of that came crashing down at the end of last year, to the point where it was a leading contributing factor to her spiraling out of control at the start of this year. On top of that, she's deathly afraid of being left behind by people she cares about because it's already traumatized her in the past, yet she copes by burying herself in even more work, inadvertently making things worse, which we already saw with her and Kiara's whole saga since she left Japan.
She was dooming a little bit on-stream towards the end of GOI about how her constant fatigue from traveling was affecting her mentally and acknowledged she could be staring down the line at burnout if she's not careful. It kinda came out of the blue because she's been pretty insistent (even during that very same stream) that she was fine. Knowing what we now know, I can't help but feel like there's some anxiousness about not being there for everyone and not living up to their expectations. To the latter point, she also specifically filled up this week with lots of streams despite her fatigue and against the advice J-chad's been trying to suggest for her ever since the work with UMG began because she feels she's not living up to deadbeats' expectations of her (which could possibly stem from her being privy to how some people haven't stopped bitching about certain things ever since her activities began a few months ago), so she's feeling conflicted, torn between delivering for her fans, putting her all into her work for her upcoming EP/concert, being mindful of her own health, and now, possibly, making sure she can be there for her friends.
She loves them. She loves them all so much she wrote three songs about it. But I think she's fully and overly conscious of the fact that she's getting in her own way, yet feels she can't go one way without feeling like she's failing in the others. So I hope that when she shows up, they can get her out of her head and make things right.
Sorry. Just wanted to get that out there. I jwu and it's hot.
