>>57706432My only critique on the Botan part was how Anon seemed confused on how she was so upset with him. A brief line of introspection can help convey something like "I knew we both got pretty heated when I suggested I take the initiation, but is that really all there was to it? Just me?" The part with Lui and Botan and later Anon and Botan, were fine, your interactions actually shine a bit more when they isolated to the lion's relationships since they have been easily the most fleshed out. My comment on rushing was that the piece as a whole with the surrounding components came off as rushed. I do also understand that there are a lot of moving parts here and it's not always doable to nail them all with absolute clarity, but when you churn out this stuff in less than a day, you might want to give yourself a little breathing room and let it stew for a day or two. I'm sorry if it all came off as nit picky, that wasn't my intent.
