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Alright I've decided. I don't want to jerk off and cum to my oshi anymore, but being horny over here and looking at lewd but not straight up porn of her is what I'll do. I don't really think it'll change how I think of her since like I said it's just getting rid of a horny urge and aren't actual like series emotions or feelings. They are just drawings like any other fanart. I just wouldn't randomly jerk off to some girl in my life, like a classmate or something so it feels wierd to jerk off to Ame when I see and think about her almost everyday, and I """talk""" to her regularly through SC. That and I enjoy how I think of and see her now and even though I don't feel as if it's the case I don't want coomer thoughts to get in the way/change that, but at the same time Ame is super hot so there isn't anything wrong with thinking "God Ame is super hot I'd want to fuck her" sometimes.
Am I being autistic about this.
Absofuckinglutely. Ame cute Ame love
