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I used to be suicidal in my life. For about an entire year, maybe more. Before all of this, everyone i had called a friend, and everyone that i thought would be able to support me through all the shit in my life, had left me, turned against me, and didn’t seem to care about me anymore. I mean i know I’m diagnosed with Major Depressive, Aspergers, etc, but i don’t think it was a good reason i should have been left in the dust, and have no support at all. My parents didn’t even care about me anymore. I had attempted suicide about 5 times. 3 times hanging, 2 times cutting. I had to spend about 9 months of that year in therapeutical facilities, hospitals, and psychological help residences, sometimes even states away from my family, with almost no communication or way of reaching them. But even after all that treatment, i still couldn’t see any light to my life. I thought that i would die alone, and never experience true happiness. Then one day i had found something. Something that was called “Hololive” i didn’t know what made me like it, the idol cultuer, the seiso atmosphere, the amazing interactions between holos…but…I had found something that actually…made me happy. What made me even happier was that after looking more into it, i found out about the vtuber fanbase. about /vt/. I had discovered music, art, blogs, parodies, news, conventions, everything that you can think of, that was associated with this fanbase. I was amazed. But i was more inspired to know that there were people out there, who I could actually compare myself to. People that liked what i liked. People that were more than willing to have me around and accept me as their friend...
