>>67670652The problem is that over time the highs don't hit the same. You know things will get shitty again since you know the routine now, so the entire time during the high you are just waiting for the gain of sand that sets off the next spiral. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship where you ended up hating someone you felt lucky to be with 18 months before knows this game.
Any moment of calm is just the calm before the storm. You're never able to relax with her anymore.
>>67670923She's gotten a lot of fame and money really fast. Enough that people that would look down on her two years ago are super jelous of her, and it's getting to her head. Some of these tendencies are mitigated by her depressive and self hating nature. Just know she was talking about the idea of suicide. Normally this would trigger a big protective instinct in me that would pull me in deeper, but once you know the pattern it stops working.