>>19231523My take is that Rushia first contacted korekore right after her cat died. I don't know what Rushia did or didn't mean, but I know that the state she was in made kson suicidal just by being around her for an extended period of time.
I love her despite how she can be, and she is a notoriously difficult person to help when she most needs it most. I blame myself a little I think. Small messages I'd said, or things I wished I'd said. She always got effected by little things, even the seemingly innocuous chat message, so I sometimes loop mentally about what I could've done differently.
I think being Rushia is difficult enough normally, that when that fuel was added to the proverbial fire, the grief may have warped her mind in some instances into something that just isn't like her.
I think Rushia is a sad, broken girl that truly loves her fans and that I truly love her. And I wish that that didn't have the result that it did. But right now if I let regret and admonishment weigh me down, I feel like that would only create more regret. So I choose to be forgiving and patient, to the extent where my dignity can allow for myself to be. I think anything else would be malicious of me knowing her as well as I do, and I don't want to be a malicious person, even if its hard.
