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I know most of you are just going to see this as yet another falseflagging anti, but I'm kind of having a crisis of faith buds.
I feel like I'm going through the stages of grief with Gura. First I was just sad when she's gone, then I was jealous of other fanbases who's oshi streams more, and now I'm just bitter and angry and resentful. I'm still not gonna shit on Gura or anti her, but I'm just tired. Tired of this endless cycle of leaving and coming back like nothing happened.
The thing that gnaws at me is that I don't want to be one of those chumbuds that just abandons her like a faggot. You're supposed to be there for your oshi through thick and thin, that's what love is. But if she's not there for me, is it really fair? I just don't know anymore bros.
My friends who also watch Hololive literally make fun of me for being a chumbud, especially the ones with JP oshis. As proud as I am of her and how far she's come, around others it's practically a point of shame because other Holos have done so much more. I don't know what's worse at this point, looking like a cunt for leaving Gura or looking like a gullible idiot for staying convinced that she loves me.
Maybe I'm just misguided. Fuck I'm tired.
