>>75577741I am getting somewhat a feel for the world you're building so far, but I have a few things you might want to consider.
Are Botan, Mio, Koyori, etc, animal women in a world of humans? I feel like it's always worth mentioning their animal features since it helps paint your world with a lot more color. It also opens up the possibility of a given military likely being more prone to recruit people who are part animal due to them likely having better physical traits as opposed to an average human.
Sora mentioned she hadn't eaten in two days, and on top of walking on foot for that entire time, she would have been much closer to keeling over than how she acted. For something to showcase just how poor she was, something like she rationed a single apple across the entire trip, and didn't even waste the core. Something that like that would earn her a lot of pity points. Speaking of pity points, I feel like what should be her first hurdle is overcome a little too cleanly. It almost reads like a handwave and there wasn't enough offered in her defense to make her out to be an investment worth taking.
Anyway, another good point is that Sora and Botan feel like they have some substance to their personalities, so nice going.